3 signs to know if an unconventional wedding is for you
In the previous episodes: a pandemic strikes and we’re all forced to change our habits. No big parties, no parties at all, use a mask, avoid crowds, we’ve all been there. In the past two years what we thought was common, all of a sudden, was not common any more. We were all forced to change to move on, and so did the wedding industry.
What a time to get married, right? All wedding vendors had to rethink and reinvent themselves and their projects in order to keep up. At the same time, couples faced the fact that - maybe - their original idea of wedding could just not happen.
Let’s try to see the glass half full, tough! We had to find alternative ideas worth being taken into consideration for a wedding and most of them involved going a little bit against the traditions: micro-weddings became more popular, elopement even. In general we - as vendors - and you - as couples - had to pick only what was really meaningful to you and let all the fuss go. It sounds kinda cool, doesn’t it?!
It’s becoming more and more popular to focus on things that suits you on your wedding day. If we think about it, very little is required by law to get married while a lot is actually “mandatory” by tradition. Once we realize that traditions are generally as strong as sand castles, it gets way easier for us to break them!
What we’ve learnt is that we don’t need to do things just because it has always been like this, and chances are that you are now planning your wedding and realize that most of those habits don’t really speak to you. If this is the case, then you might be a good candidate for an unconventional wedding. I’ve decided to gather together three reasons why you should start consider a non-traditional wedding as the right option for you so that you don’t look back and regret most of the choices you made. Let’s begin!
1. You are simply not “traditional” (whatever it means)
Let’s face it: most of the traditions when it comes to weddings are not inclusive enough. They just focus on fresh and young cis-gender heterosexual couples that have never been married before. What if you don’t fit in then?
When the ceremony begins and the bride should walk with her father down the isle while the groom waits for her. Ok, cool, but what if there is not just one bride but two? Or what if there is no bride at all?
Also, assuming that just because you’re getting married you should throw huge parties with a lot people is wrong. There are a lot of older couples who are not into that anymore so why bother?
If you happen to be a “non-traditional” couple then don’t feel like you have to follow those traditions because that’s a club that never wanted you to belong to. Screw them, then, and let’s do what you feel like! Wanna walk the isle with both of your parents? Or together with your partner? Maybe with your dog? Do it then and be proud of it because this is more representative of who you are!
2. Your needs don’t match what tradition says you should do
I cannot even count the number of brides I’ve heard saying that they didn’t feel comfortable in a white dress. They were just not used to wearing white but “how could you not on your wedding day?” The funny thing is that not every culture asks brides to wear white, Asian brides usually wear red and gold. Long story short: if you’re like me and you wear black 90% of the times or instead you like a ton of colors on your clothes, go for it.
Girls as bridesmaids, guys as groomsmen. Boring, right? What if I have a ton of friends and I want to include them in my wedding party? Do it, mixed-gender wedding parties are a thing! And even if they were not, let’s make it a thing.
At the end of the day, what really matters is that you are happy. Don’t let a stupid tradition decide on what you should and should not do at your wedding.
3. If it feels like a struggle, ditch it
If you’re planning your wedding and feel like most of the things you’re doing don’t make any sense and are just an enormous waste of time, why doing them?
I know the struggle of arranging seats for the reception: uncle Tom should not sit next to aunt Peg but we can’t move one of them to table 3 bla bla bla. Why not taking into consideration a more informal reception with no pre-arranged seats? If you cannot pick the seats for everyone, let everyone pick their own.
How many time have we heard the story that the groom should not see the bride before the ceremony? A lot. How hard it is to find different locations to get ready on your wedding day? Quite a lot sometimes. This tradition comes from the time where marriage was arranged, so preventing the groom to see the bride was a to prevent them to run away. Do we really need to follow this line of thought?! Come on. Getting ready together and making it a private moment for you two could be the right way to have a moment of intimacy right before everything starts.
Last example and then I’ll stop, I promise. Going away from the reception to get formal photos and couple shots could be hard to fit in the schedule. Opting for a first look before the ceremony could be the right thing for you.
In conclusion, this all big blog post is just to let you know that if you’re feeling like you don’t belong to a Cindarella-wedding-type-of-thing you don’t have to follow that path. There’s not right way to do things, but your own. Don’t stress too much: weddings are meant to be a celebration of love period. Do it with just your significant other, do it with everyone you love, wear white, wear pink, dance, sing, cry, lough but do it because you want it - not because some random one decided on your behalf.
